You can't get there from here...Feb. 1997

The day after a February snowstorm

What a nice package to deliver!!

A really big help delivering the mail!

I won't list the name of the person responsible for this travesty of justice in the photo below but he liked to look out the window at his neighbor's pool.

Taking a break at the Rumford Post Office..circa 1993

This same individual was delivering our mail shortly after we moved to Rumford in 1984 (at least a year before I had anything to do with the Post Office). He comes up on the porch and hands me the mail and says to me "Is that blue car with all the Cincinnati Reds bumper stickers on it yours?" I said "Yeah, it is. Is it in your way?" His reply "This is RED SOX Country those stickers or that car have to go!" I thought to myself, who is this A--HOLE? And I'm paying his salary! Not to mention any names but this guy is now the PostMaster in Norway, It's just too bad it's not NORWAY the Country!

I obviously made some comment about what he could do with the Red Sox because the next day when he delivered our mail he gave me the finger. Unfortunately for him he didn't notice that I had the video camera on and running. That video is in my safe deposit vault waiting for the Postmaster General to see (if he asks!). I should really say something nice about Tony but I can't think of a single thing nice to say about him. Maybe one, Tony made the Rumford Post Office an enjoyable place to work over the years and I thank him for all the fond memories. I only wish that he could do better on his football picks. He has been trying to outdo me now for 9 years, ever since he joined our football pool. Maybe 2000 will be the year, but I doubt it.

I have another video clip involving the Post Office. I call it the "Postal Convention". It's the day when all (almost all) of the Rumford Postal Vehicles were parked in front of my house at lunch time. We needed a cop to direct the traffic! Where's a policeman when you need them? Anyway, I was peacefully enjoying a sandwich with my charming wife when horns start blaring outside. I don't know what prompted me to grab the video camera but I did. The video shows one postal truck driving up into our driveway (Only problem being we didn't have a driveway at the time.) and the driver yelling out obscene remarks about my beautiful wife. The only one I can put on a family page is "Where's the Old Hag at? Is she still sleeping?" Well "Jimbo", I refuse to mention names, so your identity is safe unless the Postmaster General gets a court order to open my safe deposit box.

The driver of another postal vehicle was trying to see how close he could get to our brand new Honda without scratching the Post Office truck. Well "Mister Retard" again no names and your identity remains a secret also. Oh Mister Postmaster General my safety deposit box is in the Rumford Branch of the Key Bank. I offered both of these guys a sandwich but they told me they had only come around to harass me as they drove off at fifty miles an hour. All caught on tape as the saying goes.

Just for historical (hysterical) purposes I should mention that in the almost 14 years I delivered mail in Rumford I was the victim of two dog bites. One was only a minor scratch on the leg. I didn't even know the people had a dog. It was always chained in the back yard and had broken the chain and nipped my leg before I even saw him.
The other bite was much more serious but still there was a comical side to the story. We had made arrangements to dog sit at a friend's house while they attended a wedding overnight out of state. On the day they left, I was attacked by a German Shepherd who flew through the screen of a locked screen door heading airborne for my neck. Fortunately for me I saw him coming and turned sideways just in time for him to miss my throat and block him with my back. He got a nice size chunk out of the right side of my back though. The next day when our friends returned from the wedding, I showed them my back and said "Look at what your dog did to me last night!" The look on their faces made the dog bite worth while.

The Postal Service has this stupid policy that says you aren't supposed to feed the dogs, but I always thought I would rather have the animals chewing on a dog bone than chewing on me. I must admit that carrying dog bones would not have prevented the German Shepherd from attacking me but I'd be willing to bet it saved me from getting bitten by other dogs over the years. Besides making the customers happy that you thought enough to give a treat to their pets.

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